The Hippie Goes to the Opera (Part One)

I went to the Opera once. I don’t even remember what it was. It was shortly after I’d seen the Who in the fifth row and so I couldn’t hear too well, even though I was in the fifth row at the opera. Even though it was sung in English (a real no [...]

This is EXACTLY How I Feel

Thank you Rufus.

Musical Constipation

Ever wake up in the morning when you could be sleeping in, or trying to get to sleep at night but some dumb fucking song just keeps going through your head. Usually you only know, like, a few words of it and those are the ones that keep looping over and over?
Welcome to my [...]

If You’re not Cheating, Are You Still Trying?

The quote “If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying” is often misused. Jim Rome uses it a lot on his radio show. According “Jungle” lore, it was most famously used by a pro baseball coach who used it to encourage his team’s base runners to lead off bases more to and consequently steal [...]

ka f*&king BOOM

I’ve always wanted a fireplace in my back yard, but zoning ordinances and safety considerations always stood in my way. Finally, because of a narrow loophole in our town’s fire code, I can walk through town with my head held high knowing I’m not breaking the law by having a fire in my [...]

Blue Jays at Play

Every morning just after sunrise and before the cats wake up the morning crew of Blue Jays comes to hang out. They’re very cranky to one another, almost like the older folks in Le Marais for whom crankiness becomes a sign of affection. Hey… I have a little bit of Paris on my deck!

Blue Jays [...]

What I Accomplished on my Seven Day Fast

So in my seventh day of not eating I’m looking around at a dirty house, overgrown lawn and myriad other things which, if not done, will bring chaos and disorder to the universe. I want my food energy back… I want to get up and do normal things again.
I started to [...]

New to the Tribe

Mark and Shirley began the process of moving in last month. We endured at least a month of hearing about Mark, but never seeing or having proof of his existence. He didn’t even have a name. He was the lawyer.
As it turns out, he fit instantly into the tribe. [...]

Things People Ask When You’re Not Eating for a Week

A lot of people have been asking me this week why the Queen of My Universe and I are fasting for a week. So here, in no specific order are some of the questions along with unscientifically and likely erroneous answers.
1. WTF?
Fasting is a great way to clean out your system both [...]

On the First Day of my Summer Vacation…

There’s an old Cheech and Chong skit… Sister Mary Elephant I think, in which the good sister has a student read his essay about what he did over his summer vacation. It begins:
“On the first day of my summer vacation, I woke up.”
Yeah, me too. A couple hours later than usual. I was [...]