GranolaBox

Something pretty embarassing and hilarious happened today. Too funny NOT to post.

Two months ago I had a vasectomy. That’s not the end of the story though. Two months later you have to have a sperm count done to make sure all your sperm are gone and then, most often, you’re free to go on your merry way.

Well, my two month point came on the 21st, and with Christmas and stuff I just couldn’t do the drop off that day. So today was the day.

First I had to prepare a specimen. Easy enough right? Well, my kids playing loudly in the next room, and my partner being a plastic specimen cup didn’t make for the best of circumstances. I got the job done though.

Next came the delivery to the lab. I shoved the bottle quickly in my coat pocket in order to avoid any questions being asked. The lab was the first stop in a series of several culminating with the mall where my daughter Medium was eager to blow the $150 mall certificate her mom got her. I managed to get there with as few questions as possible.

So I get to the lab and pulled out the necessary paperwork….pulled out the prepared specimen and… the jar looked empty. I thought maybe in transport the contents of the bottle had sort of drifted down to the… lid. The lid that wasn’t quite on correctly. The lid that must have gotten jarred when I bumped into the door at home.

Then I notice the jar has ABSOLUTELY nothing in it.

Then I notice a wet spot on my coat pocket.

Then I realize my cell phone was in the same pocket as the jar.

Then I realize the receptionist at the lab has reached the same conclusion I have.

Then I was thinking, it was hard enough to squeeze this one out, how the hell am I going to manage this?

“Guess I better give you one of these” she said, handing me another specimen bottle. “We’re open the rest of the week.”

Filed under: General Observations on December 26th, 2007