Silly Pada: The Vernacular of the Silpada Experience
I recently went to my first Silpada Jewelry party. My friends Kate and Jimmy were hosting a Silpada “Couples” party, which meant the women would all ooh and ahhh over the jewelry while the men paid partial attention and it ordered it from the omnipresent and slightly scary Silpada corporate rep. Or, the men would retire to a different part of the house and drink while the women shopped, which is what would have happened if Jimmy hadn’t fallen ill. Good move on Jimmy’s part.
For those of you unfamiliar with Silpada Jewelry, it’s this vaguely Southwesternly designed jewelry that’s all the rage among suburban middle class women. It’s also sold by suburban middle class women in what appears to be an ingenious marketing system. It’s kind of like the Avon parties my grandmother used to have, except the women are better looking and have more money.
It sounds inocuous enough but there’s an almost cult-like status about it. I’m no judge of jewelry, but the Queen of my Universe thinks it’s mostly ugly. I’ll take her word for it. We went for purely social reasons. With Jimmy being bed-ridden and having run out of fellow pussy-whipped husbands to chat with, my mind turned to a language the Stepford cum Silpada wives could use. So here’s my first attempt at a Silpadacabulary.
Silpadarama: a massive display of jewelry at a home sale. Silpadarama is only possible in the presence of a corporate rep.
Silpadamatopeia: this is the sound of white middle class women “oohing” and “aahing” over the latest new Silpada products captured in written form.
Silpadapottamous: This is a species of very large woman wearing an ostentatious amount of jewelry to draw attention away from her girth. You can also smell a Silpadapottamous from a long distance away, because she’s wearing a lot of perfume.
SilpadaM.I.L.F. : Quite the opposite of the Silpadapottamous, this is an attractive Silpada catalog model that husbands of Silpada hostesses fantasize about when they masturbate.
Silpadesiterada: In keeping with the Southwestern origin of all things Silpada, this is a poem containing a pathway to a spiritual life in jewelry sales. Individual passages can also serve as daily affirmations.
Silpadymous: The state of being achieved when one is at complete peace with Silpada. Can be acheived only after memorizing Silpadesiterada.
Silpadextrous: Someone wearing at least one Silpada ring or bracelet on each hand.
Silpedophile: A form of deviant behavior in which an older Silpada enthusiast attempts to lure a minor into the Silpada web by tempting them with lovely Southwestern-style jewelry and candy.
Silpadatitis: A skin condition caused by wearing an excess of jewelry.
Silpodiatry: The ability to adorn one’s feet and ankles with Silpada bling.
As the trend grows and legions of Silpada merchants home party their way to economic self-sufficiency, I’m sure the Silpadacabulary will grow and spread into daily language.
Technorati Tags: Silpada Jewelry, Silpada
Filed under: General Observations on November 21st, 2007
Yeah, I was once at one of those weird parties where people try to sell you crap, except it was it was a bachelor/bachelorette party and they we’re selling sex toys. It was…. interesting… oh and there was a taste testing. Have I mentioned I have strange friends?
I’m looking high and low for good, bad, or just plain interesting info about Silpada. It’s been a long day of search and read … sooooooooooooooooo I’m just a bit on the “other” side. However, I, having just read my last point of view . ., I am again renewed in this product and ready to Ready ;;; start ‘
Good luck! It still seems pretty successful. Just don’t let them take over your brain!
I just went to one yesterday and loved it…Hmm they had women of all ages…my goddaughter dragged me and she is 18…I was surprised and did not come away with any of the impressions you had..though you have spent apparently alot of time denigrating anyone who wants to make extra money…If I had the time I would do it…chill and to each their own.
It just sounds to me like you have absolutely way too much miserable time on your hands to have invested as much work and thought into a dedicated page about this. Seriously if you did a little bit more reading and less running of your mouth you would discover their are almost all positive comments about this product. For their target market, they have extremely high growth numbers even since the economic downturn. It is a quality product, be it your taste or not and has a lifetime warranty that you don't have to pay extra for. Oprah Winfrey supports it and she's one of the richest/successful women in America. Seriously, get a life and find something worth complaining about, but try giving it a little more effort rather than an ignorant view
I just don't like it because the jewelry line is too similar to my last name.
Yeah, you could make a lot of money that way. Or you could incite a lot of controversy, as there are apparently some people who are very passionate about their Silpada.
Which I will now refer to as Silpeda, because you're so fucking cool.
This is HILARIOUS. If you have the self-importance to actually be offended, perhaps you should have stopped reading after the first paragraph? Love it.
well, I love Silpada and have a great appreciation for all humour, even self-depricating. I found the commentary witty. While my experience and love of the product may differ from the author, I love to laugh, so thanks for a humourous presentation. (I’m canadian so some of our spelling is different-french influence,lol) Say – could you do a review on Canada?
I think I already have… in a manner of speaking. I love all things Canadian. My blood pressure goes down the minute I cross the border (which I do often living in upstate NY)
I double checked… there’s still lots of Canada love in the Box.
Beware – Make sure your Silpada rep is honest!! Had a party July 13th and not two weeks later she was noticed in a tent at a fair selling Silpada jewellery at a discounted price of 50% including the piece I purchased.
I was researching about Silpada. I had Never heard of it till I received my Womens Day last week. There was a full page add . I find this Interesting because I live in Kansas where it is made ,,and where the home party got started. It does NOT say 1 word about MLM,so I am tryin to check it out,also I did see it was for sale on E/Bay too,hum?? Now I need to find,a cataloge with prices and a True Review site,that is UP to Date.
I was a bit skeptical when my daughter started out and invited me to her first party. I really did have a good time just being silly me. Nobody pressured me at all. I just wandered around trying on jewelry, and bought me first piece (of jewelry). I loved it and promptly had an accident and broke it. Another was in my hands within 8 days with not even postage paid by me. I have since aded a piece from time to time. I sometimes
mingle it with my older and heirloom jewelry, and it really dazzles. I find the price points to be low, especially when compared with fine jewelry in stores. You can always find something on e-Bay (reps are not supposed to sell via this method, but you may sell your customer acquired pieces if you want to if you are not a Silpada rep. (I think that’s the company rule.)
I don’t want ever want to sell mine as they are too pretty and of excellent quality. Silpada reps must never forget that you will always find disgrunted people even it you were giving them free ambrosia, a keepsake chip off the “the Pearly Gates” and a kiss from St. Peter.
Keep on rolling, Silpada reps. It’s great quality and great value dollar for dollar.
Men should not attend such parties, unless there is a lot of beer somewhere else for them to drink. Jewelry has a personal interest for every woman and man. If someone thinks it pretty someone else thinks it’s pretty. Men unless they are gay really do not have a clue. Silpada is nice sterling silver jewelry if like it buy it if not don’t buy it.