GranolaBox

Kayak Porn

I don’t know if looking for a kayak is the same for me as it is for other people, but I think it is. I live in an area where a lot of people kayak, and try to sell their kayaks by putting it out in their front yard with a For Sale sign.

I know I’ve caused more than one unsafe situation by slamming on the brakes to look at a kayak that I even think might be for sale. I got pissed at one of my neighbors recently for not covering the kayak in her garage during her garage sale. Her kayak was exactly what I was looking for, but it wasn’t for sale.

I looked through the ads in Craigslist with the same zeal that most men look at internet porn. (Yes, most men do.) It’s like looking at “models” in various stages of undress and positions, alone or together. Like the woman in the picture that’s out of my league beautiful, I looked lustfully at the many kayaks that were out of my price range.

Thus, on a recent trip to the Adirondack Mountains in Northern New York, I was blown away by the shameless display of kayak porn afforded by Adirondack Lakes and Trails Outfitters.

The front display was a hot kayak on on kayak formation, followed by dozens of kayaks brazenly displayed before my eager eyes.

I suspect that like many other former avid porn surfers who have the fortune of being married to an incredibly hot woman, my porn surfing, while not completely abated, has diminished to the point of morbid curiosity.